Broken Dishwasher

So doing dishes by hand has no advantages. It takes forever, you get water everywhere, you drop a coffee cup and it’s broken forever, you stack the dishes in the drain pan only for it to tumble over and you still have to dry the slippery buggers before you can put them away. I learned all this when my dishwasher broke down.

I had the Cadillac of dishwashers. It was quiet. It had a delayed start so I could set it to run at 2 am (screw you McGuinty and your on-peak hours). It could just run the top rack if you had people over for drinks. When this Caddy broke down I found out that as far a dishwashers go I’m a Ford Taurus.

I was clumsy. I was always getting stuck in third gear and never got around to drying the dishes. I broke down more often than not and ended up cooking and eating off tinfoil just so I could throw it out instead of cleaning it. I only ran during peak hours and, at night, I was too tired to do dishes. Something had to give.

I tried running the broken dishwasher from time to time but it just made a terrible, loud grinding noise and wouldn’t clean the top rack. I hated to call McLandlord and he must be getting fed up with me whining to him every time I had a problem. I knew exactly what he would say,

“What tha fack ‘ave yeh dun tis time? Do yew av shit fer brains?”

I decided to avoid the old Gray Abbey mick and spare myself from that half Gaelic and half drunk accent. I called in a plumber.
Less than 24 hours later my dishwasher was fixed. The plumber said he would put the bill in the mail when he had it printed and I could pay when I got it. Problem solved.

2 week time lapse…

Ring ring ring.

“Hello” I said

“Chicken bones are fer da stock and makin’ soup, you wasteful cus! Did yer mam never teach ya nuffin? Fer the luff of God, you cannae jus toss that shit in the dishwasher. An now I get meself a fackin bill for some limey plumber who I nare hired whan I plaumed for a decade in the ol’ country! ‘Ave you got shit fer brains?!”

I guess the plumber Googled the address and sent the bill to McLandlord, who was a bit upset about the whole ordeal. I suppose I’ll just call him first next time. That and rinse my dishes. I guess sometimes you just can’t win for losing.